Quiet

I feel better at night.

Then I don't feel so bad that no one's calling me, emailing me, or IMing me, because everyone's asleep like they should be. Cause they have jobs to go to early in the morning, and I don't.

I'm editing a portfolio of portraits for a photo assisting job I'm hoping to get. Suddenly I don't feel so confident anymore. Ahh, I feel a little depression coming on.

I [heart] coffee

Running is my new best friend, and coffee's now my buoy. When you're working in your apartment all day long, and you've no longer got a partner, suddenly inanimate objects and simple activities become much-much closer to you.

Been hearing lots of cop cars whizzing by lately, and the scream of ambulances. I kept track the other day - and got a grand total of 10. Makes me want to move to the Presidio, where it's much quieter (and more beautiful). The Presidio, or way out in the Richmond or Sunset, cause I really should learn to surf.

I do have a lingering idea that I should move back to Missouri, to get back to family and Sunday dinners, their reality TV, the kids my brother & sister-in-law will one day have. Get back to knowing all those people I love.

The Art of Loving

I've been trying to stay active in the last three weeks, because that's what healthy people supposedly do when they're broken-up-with. Though hanging out with friends, drinking coffee, going to Beck for free, eating sushi, and watching Willy Wonka does little to make me stop thinking about him = B.

My mind still goes to the painful parts to try to make sense of the senseless. The pieces don't add up. What someone said 90% of the time is true, no?

Been reading "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm. And yes, I'll admit, I got it because I saw it on B's Amazon wishlist, and what's more perfect than that? Though it was written in 1956, and he makes references to current culture, it all still very much holds true.

ebay feedback can hurt

So, I feel like I'm answering a personals ad, because I want to explain that I've never done this before. I honestly never thought I'd have a blog. But I never thought I'd get around to running a marathon, and I'm doing that in a couple weeks, so maybe it's just time.

I got some *really* negative feedback on eBay which was unjustified, and for whatever reason, this woman made it very personal. Since I'm a strong believer in the power of negative energy, I didn't want to share it, or elaborate too much on it, because what's the point, really? You just end up passing it along, making the original vitrol much more powerful. Swallow it, let it pass. So I thought I'd mention it here to try to diffuse it.

I feel better now, thank you.